India Has 22 Official Languages
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And somehow every t shirt says
BROOKLYN
CALIFORNIA
NEW YORK
Brother.
The furthest I've travelled this month is Silk Board.
Why am I dressed like I own property in Manhattan?
Every clothing brand seems convinced we're all one iced coffee away from moving to Los Angeles.
Meanwhile your hometown has slang so powerful it can start an argument, end an argument and create three new arguments before lunch.
Every state has that one word.
That one phrase.
That one comeback.
The one outsiders will never understand.
The one that instantly tells people,
"Yep. He's definitely from here."
But no.
Apparently what India really needs is another t shirt that says
TRUST THE PROCESS.
What process?
The IRCTC booking process?
The Aadhaar update process?
The process of explaining to your parents that social media is a real job?
Please be specific.
India is probably the only country where the food changes, the accent changes, the slang changes and sometimes even the laws of logic change every few hundred kilometres.
Every language has words that don't translate properly.
Some words are so local that even Google Translate looks at them and says
Not my department.
Every friend group has vocabulary that should honestly be documented by historians.
Every city has phrases outsiders hear for the first time and immediately assume they're being insulted.
Sometimes they are.
Sometimes they aren't.
That's part of the excitement.
And yet most t shirts behave like none of this exists.
Imagine growing up in a country with 22 official languages and thousands of dialects...
...and still wearing a t shirt that says
LOS ANGELES ATHLETIC DEPT.
Which department?
Who approved this?
Why are we involved?
The truth is India doesn't have a culture problem.
India has too much culture.
Nobody knows where to start.
Every language has its own humor.
Every city has its own personality.
Every region has its own way of saying
"You're an idiot"
with love.
That's what makes this place fun.
And honestly?
That's a lot more interesting than another "GOOD VIBES ONLY" t shirt.
If you've ever laughed at a word that makes absolutely no sense in English...
If you've ever had to explain local slang to someone from another state...
If you've ever said
"You won't get it"
before telling a joke...
Welcome home.